Starring Donnie Yen, Louis Koo, Fan Bing-Bing.

 

Everyone is saying how this movie is SPL2, but to me it feels more like Rotting Dogshit part 1.  This movie was so bad!  Louis Koo overacts, and is mostly useless for the duration of the movie, that is unless you view hostage/punching-bag to be useful.  Fan Bing-Bing plays the other airhead/hostage.  The only redeeming factor in the movie is the Amazing Donnie Yen (ADY) who busts up terrorists left and right.  At one point, Mr. Yen pulls a goddamn German Suplex on random criminal 1.  Too bad he doesn't make a meaningful screen appearance until close to 30 minutes into the film.  Seriously, wtf.. it's 30 minutes of watching Louis Koo getting his ass kicked, overacting, kissing ass to terrorist scum, and getting his house blown up.  Even Donnie doesn't give his best performance, with the culminating punch in the final battle being a wind-up popeye punch.  If you're looking for hardcore Donnie porn, this movie is not for you, but for any diehard Donnie Yen fans, I guess this is necessary viewing material. 

 

 

I have devised the perfect recipe for shooting a Hong Kong cop movie.

The basic Hong Kong cop movie consists of several ingredients:

1 part badass cop

1 part dextrous/intelligent cop

1 part sacrificial-lamb cop

1 part supervisor cop (Wong Sir, or Lieutenant Stone)

5-10 parts of terrorists (it is more enjoyable with foreign terrorist, so that we de-humanize them)

3-5 chase scenes

A liberal dose of martial arts

A teaspoon of romance/family issues

Candy glass

Explosions

 

 

Knead the explosions, candy glass, and martial arts together.  Mix in 1 chase scene.  Take the terrorists and mix in the first three cops individually, pour in 2 chase scenes.  Make sure the first three cops are now at brother-status.  Bake at 500 degrees with some romance or family related issue.  prepare the movie in either an abandoned warehouse, sewer, or evacuated business building.  Brutally slay sacrificial-lamb cop.  Pour in another chase scene. Garnish with everything else.  Serve with an explosion and reunite family/love with the surviving cops.

 

 

 

The top 5 to 10 fads of 2007, by leading culture expert, Me.

 

 

In no significant order...and do note that several of these fads cross into the other shitty areas.  Confused? read on.

 

1) Ipod

2) Iphone

3) Apple Commercials

4) Bad footwear, including Crocs and UGG Boots

5) Douchebaggery, including popped collars, bronze skin, smirking, and two-sizes-too-small shirts

6) Youtube

7) Facebook

8) Nintendo Wii and Nintendo DS

9) Some other stuff

 

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Halloween Candy Hierarchy

 

1) Nestle Crunch, Mr. Big, Twix, m&ms, Packaged Potato/cheese snacks

2) Kit Kat, Coffee Crisp, Snickers, Rolos, Skittles, Aero

3) Gummi Bears, Assorted Gummi packages

4) Lifesavers

5) Lolipops

6) Rockets

7) Caramels

8) Fruit (?!)

9) unknown packaged miscellaneous

10) unknown unpackaged miscellaneous

...

99) Candy Corn

 

X class) Comic books, full candy bars, wishes, cans of pop (a mixed blessing)

 

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When will Balut become a fad.